Boobs Brains & Blogs

As my shift came to end on Friday I was quite excited to be headed down to the Oregon Brewers Festival The weather was hot and even though I am not a huge beer fan I was looking forward to getting out and experiencing what the festival was all about. I had made plans to go with a male friend of mine. The rule was he would be my “wingman” and I his “wingwoman” as we had hoped to meet some fun people.

The lines were long but the samples were good so it made it worth the wait. While standing in line we start striking up conversation with a group of 3 girls in front of us. Come to find out they were all from Canada. They had spent a week vacationing on the coast of southern Oregon and were on their way home when they found out about the festival. They ended up being so much fun that after the festival came to an end we took them to one of the best local fare’s Le Bistro Montage to experience some great food. They were quite impressed with the restaurant known for their fabulous cajun inspired food, and the hostess and waiter with sass that makes you love them. After we went to the outdoor patio of Henry’s where we finished comparing stories and differences between the Canadians and Americans, exchanged facebook contacts and drove them back to their hotel.

It was a fun night that memories are made of. The type of hospitality and friendliness that seems to be rare in this day and age. As we exchanged thank you’s and hugs they invited me to come spend some time with them in Canada where they claim the men are taller and better looking. Even though I proved to be a better “wingwoman” then my “wingman” great friendships were established and I can’t wait to go and visit them and have even more fun to blog about!

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1. What were your school colors?

My school colors were light blue and gold. It seemed to be the common colors for a private school. Go Saints!!!

2. What’s the best compliment you ever received?

I have been asked this often from guys, and to me I want to be complimented on something that is not physical. I want to hear that I have done a great job and that I have a great personality something that takes a little more effort then looks. I would have to say recently when I graduated with my bachelors degree and being complimented on working hard at school a full time job and being a single mom. That meant the world to me.

3. Do you buy cheap or expensive toilet paper?

I cannot bring myself to buy cheap toilet paper. I am not a fan of toilet paper that feels like a rough paper towel from a gas station restroom.

4. Have you ever had a surprise party thrown for you? Or have you had one for someone else?

It was just recently that my parents and kids collaberated together to throw me a surprise graduation party. It was very exciting. It was even more fun to find out my kids had known for a couple weeks and were struggling but did a great job of keeping it a secret.

5. What is one material possession that you “can’t live without”?

The one material possession that I cannot live without is a hard toss up, and can be somewhat interchangeable. I would have to say would either be my blackberry or my laptop. I would definitely feel lossed without either one of these. They feel like my lifeline. I am big on texting to stay connected and would feel quite lost. However I am one of those that knows when to turn the phone off to get things done, when not to answer the phone (ie. the grocery store line) but to know that I have it is comforting.

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Women especially those with kids are very good at intuition they can pick up on the slightest things. Whether it be a change in the tone of voice, the choice of words used in a text message or the short response, we get that something is wrong. Don’t ask me how we can do it, I think it may be something we are born to do. I can look at anyone of my children and know what kind of mood they are in or if something is bothering them.

The question with men is when we can sense something is wrong why do they always deny that there is an issue. I understand if you don’t want to talk about it at the time, but when I can tell from your actions that something is wrong and your reply is nothing then it raises even more questions. I myself start wondering if it was something that I did. (not that I always have a guilty complex) but I care and don’t want to be the one that turned the mood sour. To me a simple answer works great, “It was a bad day at work, don’t really want to talk about it.” This type of answer will give me some insight and I would be willing to drop the conversation and leave it alone.

There are days that I will be down or depressed and I don’t expect someone to fix it. Sometimes I am not even sure of the cause but I know it will pass. When those times come I will tell you that its a tough day and I will get through it. Communication it is an amazing thing but so often what lacks in a relationship, it is often the key reason for a breakup or a divorce and yet if problems are addressed often they can be worked through.

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Awhile back I put up a profile on a online dating site, and needless to say that type of dating really isn’t for me!  I don’t even like going out on first dates so you can imagine that online dating is definitely not my style.  I feel like I was in the movie ground hogs day and ugly guy after ugly guy is sending me messages asking the same questions. Ok i know I should not be harsh by saying they are all ugly because I don’t see myself as a ten by any means and know I could loose a few lbs and get back in shape but we are talking people that I could never see myself with.

For example, I love manicures and pedicures. I get my hair done, I wear skirts and heels often for my job. My idea of a vacation is a tropical place sipping drinks by the pool…. so why is it I get the flannel shirt wearing men with profile pictures of their “Big Fish” pictures of them with their “great big trucks”.  Men who typically have big trucks to compensate for the fact that they stand about 6 inches shorter then me.  Men with the full beards and hairy chest who would not know what the term “Manscaping” even means.

Again I know that is harsh and maybe these guys have “great” personalities but really I am ok being single rather then settling for someone who I can’t stand to look at but has a “great” personality.  I am not one of those girls that all of the sudden gets a big head because all these guys are trying to contact me.  I have been single long enough to know many use the shot gun affect in hopes to get a reply.  They don’t even read the profile before sending a message and I know that probably 75% of the people online (men and women both) are lying about everything they have put in their profiles.

So I think that I will stick with the old fashion way of meeting people, be happy being single, spend time with the great friends male and female that I have and not sweat whether or not Mr. Right is really out there, because I am pretty sure Mr. Right will not be online looking for me.

I can do with out ten messages a day reading “Your Cute, would you like to meet?”   I can pass on the men being offended that I don’t find them attractive or have nothing in common with them.  I can pass on the shady people who are really in a relationship and trying to pose as a single person online.  I can pass on the un-educated and unemployed who have the “will explain” as the answer to those questions.  All I have to say is there has to be a better way!

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Well much to the dismay of my ex I have not quit blogging, it just happened to be that I did an update to my wordpress software and lost my previous blogs.  I just graduated with my bachelors degree so amongst the 23 page business plan that I was required to write and my 200 question final exam I had to push the blog to the back seat. 

When I did finally finish school I was so overwhelmed with the new free time that I had, getting out enjoying the beautiful weather and so sick of my laptop that my blog got pushed back even further.  As of current I am still SOLO and just enjoying the friends and people that I have in my life.  The girls and I have been enjoying our summer, working on our tans and dealing with all of the ups and downs that life brings.

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I received this via email on a kids perspective quite humorous.

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids) 
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff…  Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.  Alan, age 10
 
No person really decide before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with…         Kristen, age 10
 
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? 
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then…        Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?   
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.  Derrick, age 8       
 
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?   
Both don’t want any more kids.        Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?   
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough…  Lynnette, age 8   (isn’t she a treasure?)           
 
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
Martin, age 10  (isn’t he ready for the world of dating?)

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?   
I’d run home and play dead.  The next day I would call all  the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.    Craig, age 9       
 
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?   
When they’re rich.  Pam, age 7           
 
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.     Curt, age 7      
 
 The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them… It’s the right thing to do.  Howard, age 8           
 
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?   
It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys…  Boys need someone to clean up after them. Anita, age 9 (bless you child)           
 
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?   
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?     Kelvin, age 8  (I like this kid)           
 
And the #1 Favorite is  …. 
 
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?   
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.    Ricky, age 10 (He’ll be married forever)

If you liked this, please let your friends read it so that they too may have a smile for today. Thanks

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As I watched with them, I just kept asking myself…

3. Are women always that forward on dates?  The lines such as “You want to land your plane on my landing strip?”  and “You want kids… Now with me?”  OMG

4. Now that I am in my 30′s women in the 20′s seem soooo young!

Are shows like this really teaching young girls that all guys will just come and sweep you off your feet and it all ends up happily ever after?  Is there really a happily ever after? Or have I just lost hope that something like that will really happen? We watch on tv as they wine and dine, limos and luxury dates.  If only this were reality, my experience have been more like movies, renting a video and picking up pizza. Is it healthy to have those fantasies that this could really happen? Are we setting ourselves up to be disappointed when a guy doesn’t have that rose to give us asking if we want to spend the rest of our lives with them? 

I guess I have never been a big fan of the fairytale, prince charming never rode in on his white horse and I am happy with a guy that just shows he cares with simple things.  Opening a door, a kiss when you have been apart, being held in their arms as you lay there asleep.  It really is the simple things that I miss.  I don’t need limo’s or luxury vacations.  Just someone who respects me, can show some simple acts of kindness, and can show my daughters that the good guys don’t finish last!

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Well my love affair with you dear blog has taken a back seat.  Just like every relationship we were truly making progress. I was opening up and expressing my deepest secrets and in return you were making me feel so good about myself.  It was a daily love affair with the ongoing correspondence and communication.  You kept me company through the holidays while my kids were away, I would stay up with you late into the night with such deep thoughts and stimulating conversation. But we need to talk…..

Our affair is going to have to be on hold for two reasons:

1.  It is NFL playoff time and with my long time love for the Vikings I have been watching intently both Saturday and Sundays to see what the competition looked like.  I have to let you know that this is my one true love.  With all the talk of tight ends and penetration as well as the red zone and the best looking 40-year-old quarterback you have ever seen,  you really can’t blame me for taking such an interest can you?

2. The second reason I have put you off is for a “Bachelor” and no, it is not the one that I spoke to you about that is on TV these days.  It is the other “Bachelor” that is promising me greater opportunities and advancements in my career.  I do have to say he is really draining the pocket-book.  He keeps promising when I get this piece of paper my life will change and doors will open.  At this point with only 3 classes left I am still hopeful but have taken out more than a life’s savings in student loans to pay for this “Bachelor” that has made such great promises to me. 

My dearest blog,  I really hope you understand the dilemma’s that I face and I really hate having to choose one over the other but trying to balance everything some days is  a challenge.  I promise to at least check in with you throughout the week but our days of lengthy conversations and 24 hour check in’s are going to have to take a back seat.  I will truly miss you!

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You would think that at some point shared custody would get easier but yet after 6 years it is still hard.  As we head into the week knowing the children will be heading to dad’s there are such mixed emotions. 

I look forward to sleeping in, having time to myself, time to go out with friends, I can eat when I want to and what I want to, I can rent movies that are un-appropriate for children and not have to wait till I am half asleep to start watching them yet with all of these luxuries of single life I feel so empty and lonely when the girls aren’t here.  I wonder if it will ever get easier. Would it be easier if I felt they were actually enjoying the time at their fathers.  Is it the text messages from them saying they want to come home or having a miserable time make it so hard to enjoy the 48 hours I have.

I try to busy myself with things to do, homework, time with friends, movies, dates… yet it always ends with such an empty feeling on Sundays.  I don’t agree with depriving a parent of their visitation rights but when the kids don’t want to go and don’t feel welcomed at his home it makes you wonder if the system is truly broken! 

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Today I had the luxury of having a day off to spend with my kids who were out of school.  It was nothing to glamorous, just an easy going fun day.  We did some shopping since the gift cards from Christmas were burning a whole in everyone’s pockets.  We had my middle daughters friend come and spend the night.

Since my middle and youngest have bunk beds the little one kindly offered to give up her bed to my daughters friend.  Little did I know those big brown eyes and toothless smile had plotted.  She came to me and asked since she gave up her bed for the night could she please come sleep in my bed?  How can you help but say yes?  Not a habit I like to get into because personally the hands on my face or the knee in my back is not a pleasant experience for me at all but on occasion it is nice to take advantage of things that will not be happening for long.

So in the morning it is off to a cheer competition with an extra child in tow.  Then tomorrow afternoon we are trading the middle daughters friend for my older daughters friend and she is going to dinner and a hockey game with us.  When you have 3 daughters… what’s one more?  I have a feeling that as my girls get older it will happen more often that our house is the one everyone comes and stays at.  Lately we have skated by with not too many sleepover’s due to dad’s weekends and competitions taking up every free Saturday for the last few months.

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So my 8th grader came to me and wanted to set up a MySpace account so that she could stay in contact with her friends.  With some negotiations I decided that Facebook would be a better site for her.  My experience with MySpace involved a lot of drama and a lot more content that was not appropriate for a 13-year-old girl.  With facebook I feel there is more control where a parent can limit who can see things, and even who can search for her online.

Also another reason I decided to do the Facebook is that her best friend is a McDonald’s recipient of a student athlete essay and she is traveling to the winter olympics.  She wanted to be able to communicate with her while she was away and the costs of sending a text when out of the country are quite spendy.  Her friend also wanted to be able to share her photos of the once in a lifetime experience.

My daughter agreed to add me as her friend so I could see what is going on as well as the rule is I will always have the password to make sure that there is nothing inappropriate.  It is hard for me to get use to the fact that my little girl is growing up.  I could not be more proud of her.  She is a cheerleader, she has straight A’s and is taking advanced classes I am very proud of her choices in friends. So there comes a time where you have to hope that you have taught them well and continue to guide them as they grow.

I pose this question to you? [polldaddy poll=2627246]

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My days are always busy being a single mom of 3. My morning starts at 5:30 getting everyone ready for school and getting ready for work. We are out the door by 7 if we are all having a good morning. Get the girls off to school and I head to work.  I get off at 5:30 rush to my parents to pick up the girls, run home change clothes grab some dinner, back out the door at 7:20 to get my oldest from practice. Then back home the nightly ritual, showers, packing lunches, laundry dishes, get the kids to bed and then I do homework for a few hours before going to bed at 10:30 or 11:00 every night.  Often times I barely have time to gather my thoughts but then there are those times that I feel so alone.  I get tired of raising my girls on my own, there are times I would love to have someone just to talk to. Someone to cuddle up with to make the day seem brighter.  For the time being I will go on continuing to be strong. I will not let the cards I was dealt hold me back or keep me down.  I know everything happens for a reason and one day it will all make sense but there will also be those days that I question how I can continue to get by and replace the emptiness that I feel with true happiness.

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So today was a crazy day, actually it has been a very long week.  The girls were heading to their dads and I was looking forward to some time to get caught up.  A moment to spend time with my guy, some time with girlfriends, peace and quiet to get some homework done and a Superbowl party.

This evening though is when the drama starts,  their dad will never allow them to contact me when they are at his home.  Therefore 3 years ago I got two of my children cell phones for when they ever needed to get ahold of me.  They have always had them and he was aware.  Well the last couple months the drama has started he insists that he needs their numbers he needs to be able to contact them when he feels like it.  Well with my experience of the rampages when he will call my phone 20 times just to fight I don’t feel its a really good idea that he has their cell phones numbers.  He has always been welcome to call them anytime on my phone and they do call him on occasion when they are at my home. However now he said that they will no longer be able to bring the cell phones to his home unless he can have the numbers.  He has never offered to pay their monthly bill yet wants to have the luxury of having their numbers.  I try to understand why it is the 4 days per month that he has the kids that are always the days he wants to call and fight with me about non-sense.  My question to him was who are you really hurting by taking the phones away while they are at your house?  I said they rarely contact me and if they do it may be a text message or two saying “I love you” or “Goodnight”  it is a way that they can stay in contact with their friends while they are at his house.

His complaint to me was that I was putting a strain on the kids relationship with him?  Hmm really?  You want to take a 14 year olds phone away and I am the one putting a strain on the relationship.  This is the same person that had his daughters spending time with his other ex-wife the last month instead of spending time with them on his weekends because he has volunteered to coach other peoples kids for fun.  You have missed every parent teacher conference in the last 5 years have no idea what their grades are or their best friends name and me not giving you a cell phone number that I pay for is putting a strain on their relationship???  Some people really shouldn’t have ever had kids!

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There are people who come into our lives for a reason, to teach us things, to make us whole again, to help us be better people.  Just as quickly someone comes into our lives often times they exit just as quickly.  This happens for reasons.

You can appreciate the person for being there to make us smile to make us laugh and the times we cried.  I had such a person a great friend that was truly there for me in a time that I needed someone.  Someone who offered an ear and advice when it was needed.  Helped me through the challenging times when I needed to be strong for court.  Times when I struggled with issues with the kids father. Through the challenges of a job I hated.  A resource when my daughter was suffering panic attacks. It was someone I am thankful was there for me.

Now it’s time to let it go. When someones friendship is getting in the way of a relationship it’s best to let it go.  I am thankful you were there for me when I needed you.  You left a footprint on my heart.  I wish you the best in all that is ahead of you. You were a blessing now it is truly best to say goodbye!

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Yesterday as I was at the grocery store picking up things for the Superbowl party the clerk asked me, “Now do you just go to the party for the festivities or do you actually watch the game?”  Well those of you that know me would know that answer, and those that don’t let me enlighten you.  I actually LOVE the game!  I grew up with an older brother and I think that helped lead me to my competitive nature I love winning, I love when my team wins and just enjoy the excitement involved in a big game.  I played sports myself, and I urge my daughters to play sports.  It helps girls to gain confidence, be team players and have a higher self-esteem. 

My love for football came when I was younger, my dad would watch the games so I would watch with him.  Later in life I got asked to play fantasy football.  At the fantasy football draft they all laughed as I picked my team not knowing some of the positions, who was injured and who wasnt, I would pick based on favorite teams or who I knew.  Well as the season went on I actually had to start “watching” the games to know what was happening. I had to ask a lot of questions and study up on who was hurt who was making the number and what not.  It was a lot of fun and went on to finish the season in 2nd place beating out 6 guys.  That is how the true love of the sport came about.  I gained an appreciation that has continued.

This year I am disappointed that the Vikings did not make it to the Superbowl, I have been a long time Vikings fan and would have loved to see Brett Favre go to the Superbowl.  This year I really don’t have a favorite team in the game, I will just enjoy the game and the company.

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Raising 3 girls as a single parent I have many roles, I am their mom their protector, I do my best to make them feel I am their friend to keep communication open yet when it comes to making decisions I may not always make the decision that they like.

I have explained my thoughts to my daughters before regarding my thoughts on spending the night at someone’s home who is a single father. However the situation came up again this week.  Guess that is part of being a parent some days you just have to be the bad guy and hope one day they understand.

Yesterday my 13-year-old sends me a text message asking to spend the night at her friend’s house.  First off this is a big negative in my book, I want them to make plans ahead of time so we can discuss the details and then I can make an informed decision.  More than likely a text asking to go somewhere is an instant No, it to me is an indication of half-baked plans. 

Knowing that the friend whose house she was asking to spend the night at comes from a divorced family my immediate thought was which parents house is she at?  This is not a family that I know very well so it never got past the initial thought and the answer was no. My feelings are that I am not ok with my daughters spending the night at a friend’s house who is only living with their father.  I know it may sound very prejudice against men, but I have a lot of respect for men that raise daughters.  I think it is probably even harder for a man to raise girls on his own then it is for him to raise boys.  So it is not that I don’t respect when they are taking the responsibility of raising their children.  It is more of a concern for the safety of my own daughters.  I am very protective of them and if I ever felt that something happened to them as a result of my bad decisions I would be devastated.  There are so many girls out there that have been molested, raped, victimized that why would I even put them in a situation that could be inappropriate?  Often times those types of actions occur from acquaintances.  It is preachers and teachers, coaches and those that are close to our children that are preying on someone who is easily a victim.  We have become a society that you never really know what is going on behind closed doors.  It could be your next door neighbor who is molesting children and you have no way of knowing so I just feel very uncomfortable sending them to spend the night in a mans home.

I have even explained to my girls that some of their friends parents may not allow them to spend the night at their dads house. We have an understanding that if they want friends to spend the night we will make sure that it happens on the weekend that they are with me so that their friends parents do not feel uncomfortable. 

I would love to get some feedback on those that have raised daughters what some of their rules are about spending the night at friends homes.  Or even fathers of daughter and whether or not you allow them to have other girls spend the night.

[polldaddy poll=2768693]

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New Years has always been a monumental day for me. It was New Years Eve 16 years ago that I was married on the beach in Honolulu, Hawaii. A beautiful wedding ceremony celebrated with close friends and family. Who would have know how much would change in 16 years. The man I married ended up being not the man I thought he was. I made the best of the marriage for ten years. We had 3 beautiful daughters together but my life was so miserable. I was going through the motions with no emotion. After ten years of marriage at the age of 29 I decided I was way to young to be so unhappy and decided to proceed with a divorce.

Over the next few years, I had the opportunity to meet great people but never found a real relationship. I was cautious to keep my kids out of my dating life, which with school and work and raising 3 daughters was basically non-existent. It was not until almost a year and a half ago that I met someone that I started a relationship with. It of course started out ok, but as we moved forward and actually moved into a home together it proceeded to get worse. There were more and more conflicts, suspicion that things were not right and fights started to escalate. It was close to Halloween that there was a fight that ended with a trip to the emergency room. I had a gash under my eye and a lip that was cut open. The man living with me had held me to the ground by my throat as his pit bull jumped all over my face cutting it open. As I sat in the ER being questioned by the nurses and Dr’s he dominated the conversation making up stories as how this happened. I had only hoped one of them would have pulled me aside to ask me in private. Like a typical abuser he apologized profusely afterwards and said this would never happen again. As the next couple months came I knew that as soon as the holidays passed I needed to get out. I had a plan to store up some money so I could take my children and be safe. I had gone through the emotions before having been verbally abused for ten years in a marriage. I knew how to lay low to avoid setting him off.

It was after Christmas of 2008 that there was some unexplained aggression toward my family members. We started looking into things and found that the person living in my home was not really who we thought he was. He had been moving from state to state trying to escape his past. With several names and aliases two social security numbers, 5 felonies and 3 misdemeanors in his past I knew I had to get out and fast. It was on December 30th I contacted authorities. Come to find out I had missed the deadline to get a restraining order. I tried to turn him into police with no success because it crossed multiple jurisdictions. We did devise a plan to have him arrested the next day on New Years Eve at my home giving me time to get my restraining order before the deadline. It was the scariest night of my life. I will never forget the tears in my parents eyes at the police station when we found out I would have to stay there one more night in order to make the plan work. That night I laid there trying to act as if nothing was wrong fearing he may sense something was awry. The next day restraining order in hand and followed to my home by 6 police officers I unlocked the door of my home so they could arrest the person who’s true identity had been discovered. One more memorable New Years Eve that even though he was in jail I could hardly stop shaking due to the activities that had happened. This was one year that I was thankful for my kids being with their dad to not have to witness the activities.

The New Year started off on a downward spiral. I had to move from the home we had a lease purchase on, as I did not feel safe being in the home with my three girls and him knowing where we were. I go into work shortly after the New Year, with a sales meeting in the morning and winning an award only to have the day end in my dream job spiraling to an end. My boss called me in to his office to say that the person who I had a restraining order against had called and formally filed a complaint that I had disclosed private information. Due to the “he said she said” nature my 6 year career at this bank had come to a bitter end. I felt I had truly reached rock bottom, far worse then even my divorce here I am a single mother of 3 with no career and no home. Things would have to change! I was denied unemployment but did qualify for a very minimal amount of government assistance. Having such a humbling experience I would even use the self check out at the grocery store in hopes that nobody would see the food stamp card. I applied for jobs day in and day out. After 2 1/2 months I took a temp job. It was almost a 75 miles a day roundtrip but with no source of income I had no choice. It was through word of mouth that I was notified in April of an opportunity with another bank. I jumped at the chance. Even though it was a substantial pay cut from my former bank job in this economy I felt it was a foot in the door.

Throughout the year, there was multiple trips to the courthouse, sworn testimonies in the police department and many steps that had to be taken to help authorities. Every time I thought I was done and could move on I would receive a subpoena to testify or a phone call with more questions but the year ended with some closure. A renewal of the restraining order and a New Years Eve that was actually quiet and uneventful.

I was very thankful this last year for all of the friends and family that I had that came to my side in such a time of need, the great friendships that had a deeper meaning throughout this time and the great friendships I was able to develop despite the circumstances. I am so thankful that I was safe this year that my life is back to a somewhat normal state of mind.

For 2010 I would just really like to have an uneventful year. I hope to pay down the debt that surmounted due to unemployment, I am looking forward to finishing up my bachelors degree, I would like to continue to re-establish myself through my career and be a wonderful mother to my girls. It is them that truly helped me through this last year. It was always in their presence that I was forced to stay strong. I did not want them to feel my pain. There were many nights that I would go to bed and the tears would stream down my face as I prayed for a better life but I could never let them know the pain that I was truly feeling. This year I will not be a victim, I will not let anyone control my freedoms or take away my happiness. This is a year that I feel free, I will not be controlled or abused it is through God, friends and family that I will prosper this year!!! Happy 2010 to all!

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